Wednesday, December 07, 2005

My Official List of BISP Quotes

"Maybe we should just try to use another lion." -Caroline

"St. Cuthbert was a saint." - Keith Beebe (in a lecture)

"Yeah, we thought it was weird, too." - Becca

"Did someone else say 'femur' at the same time as me?" -Katie O.

"All my children will wear meatskins." -Jeff

"Let's mourn when I won't be funny because I'm dead bones." -Tahlia

"I'd like two scoops of egg on ice cream with some hot water." -Kara

"Jordan, you said you're good with your bare hands, right?" - Katie Troxell

"Guys at Whitworth don't date, they marry." -Becca

"When a mullet starts to look good, you know it's time to leave the country." - Katie O.

"When I say I have crap in my room, I don't mean I have piles of dung." -Nathan

"Apparently the key is to slap Andre the Giant." -Katie O.

"The fruit of his loins was much." -Tahlia

"I was really depressed when I found out that I'd never have hair like Lauryn Hill." -Jordan
"That's a good reason to be depressed." -Tahlia

"They're probably like, 'We've been talking about this for years! Now we finally have an American to ask. What kind of bread do you eat?'" -Jordan

"Just think of the flames of renewal!" -Keith
"That's what I was going to say." -Jeff

"My socks are crispy." -Betsy

"Your mom is her dad." -Nathan
"Apparently, my mom is an asexual amoeba!" -Jeff

"I would ride Prince William." -Emily

"Ah, the joy of pills." -Cheryl

"How would you know I've been to Hawaii?" -Gretchen

"I would rather have a broken crotch than have Kara stitch it up with chopsticks for me." -Kristin

"The guy with the cool hair and I are practically dating." -Caroline

"Coif is the best word." -Jeff

"The person on this trip whose name starts with a 'J' and ends with an 'oseph.'" - Kristin

"Katie O. wants to have Jesus' babies." -Nathan

"The stench of desperation hangs about me like the stench of rotting fruit on a compost pile." -Katie O.

"I am a jelly doughnut...that is so rad!!" -Jeff

"What's with the beetles?...For the Beatles..." -Caroline

"Loud and clear!" -Leah (about Tahlia...)

"Take a picture of me reaching out to you!" -Tahlia

"I was like, 'I can sew!', so I made a trenchcoat." -Kristin

"You were a stone with boobs!" -Katie O.

"My first crush was David de Santiago." -Kara

"I wore Spandex pants until recently." -Kara

"Basically, the first guy who ever asked me, I laughed in his face." -Gretchen

"I'm a 'Hamburger' girl, I always have been. I never liked folding it 'Hot Dog' style." -Nicole
"'Hot Dogs' were dumb." -Becca

"Notice the fin." -Caroline (me as a mermaid)

"We were affirming the greatness of apples." -Jenny

"Why are these monkeys all robot monkeys?" -Nathan

"When I was little, I tanned like a little Puerto Rican child." -Jeff

"There's like a million of three or five!" -Caroline

"Why are you looking at me like a fish?!" -Caroline

"They were big, too! If they got in a fight, they would take you down. Bite at your ankles." -Becca (about American Girl dolls)

Iconoclasm Essay:
"I don't like iconoclasm." -Katie O.
"I think it's bad." -Caroline
"The End." -Jeff

"You must be a sorceror, because your rock just turned into a bird!" -Jeff

"Did any of them question what they were doing?" -Kara (response to Magical Mystery Tour)

"I hate ladders in the morning." -Cheryl

"Where did they go? They're so sneaky, those Army men!" -Betsy

"Can you imagine a fight breaking out in a nudist colony?" -Katie O.

"I'm not marrying Rupert Grint!" -Kara
"Why not?" -Becca
"Because my last name would be Grint!" -Kara

"Look, it's like a 'Where is Mother Teresa'!" -Becca

"I don't like them, and I'm afraid!" -Kara (Burger King commercials)

"Why aren't you a comedian major?" -Becca (to Kara)

"I would marry Kara. I would laugh everyday, because I'd be like, 'Haha! I'm married to Kara!' And she's funny." -Caroline

"I wouldn't think: Dime - five cents." -Kara

"Montana's a free country. We don't need scary commercials to make us feel good about ourselves, thank you!" -Kara

"Taylor, you look so forlorn!" -Kara

"I took all my calcium ON THE SAME DAY." -Taylor

"I would be really Gollumy and tell her she was a tricksy mommit." -Katie O.

"Just goosh this little ear!" -Jordan

"That's like saying, 'I've never seen Jordan eat krill!' She always eats krill!" -Jeff

"I think you all are abusing your chopsticks." -Kara

"Are you rice-ist?" -Nathan

"Maybe they were defanged piranhas." -Caroline

"Cindy Loo-Who? No, Cindy Who-Who. Wait..." -Cheryl

"I'm going to use that as a band name someday - Cindy Who-Who and the Defanged Piranhas!" -Becca

"Why are you showing us Division?" -Jordan

"It's like a vampire popsicle." -Katie O. (Marc Quinn's Self)

"Either it's mold or it's a type of cheese." -Cheryl

"I saw the whole thing! She stole the see-through pajamas from the homeless man, and now he's a lot more naked than he was five minutes ago." -Jordan

"Is it a bad sign if your eyelashes look like mutilated spiderlegs?" -Caroline

That's it for quotes. I'm leaving for NYC tomorrow morning. Hurray!


At 12/07/2005 11:02 AM, Blogger david said...

Hey Carpe! This is an extremely funny and good blog. Congratulations. I'm a fan already.

At 12/07/2005 1:01 PM, Blogger carpe_diem said...

Thanks! I try.

At 12/07/2005 6:57 PM, Blogger Nate said...

Haha, the best part is barely remembering saying any of those things I said.

At 12/07/2005 11:03 PM, Blogger Dancing_Jester said...

You're leaving again? Jeez. Always running off.


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